In a stunning feat of intelligence, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reports that a young Atlanta man robbed a convenience store with threats of violence while a cop stood behind him in line. The clerks filled the bag with money, laughing the whole time at this poor soul’s idiocy which is truly ‘genre redefining’ and breathtaking it in its execution. Stephen Daniel, 21-years old, demanded, “All the money in the f***ing money in the register” while Lieutenant Brown stood behind him the whole time, dumbstruck by the lunacy/ stupidity going on in front of him. The officer even calls it a comedy type thing, while even those in the store found it humorous. The best part of it all is that it is all caught on video. Additionally, the robber’s mugshot is meme gold but also indicates he may be developmentally slow because the gravity of the situation does not seem to impact his toothy mug. While unique in its flawless execution, this is of course not the only story of a stupid criminal to have come out of the woodwork. The tale of a man who attempted to rob a gun store during business hours is another wonderful saga of ineptitude. The Stock and Barrel Gunshop in New Boston, Ohio, was the site of an attempted theft of an AK-47 which the thief asked to see as if he were a prospective buyer but then turned and walked out of the front door with it held over his head, thanking the shop for his free gun. The best part of the article from the Buckeye Firearms Association article is this:
“The sales staff, consisting of a local firefighter who is former military and an NRA Range Safety Officer; the owner who is former military and an NRA Instructor and a gunshop employee who is an NRA Range Safety Officer and an avid bodybuilder weren’t feeling nearly as generous as the thief may have previously determined. They jumped the counters and gave rapid chase down the alley with pistols drawn, thinking anyone brilliant enough to actually attempt robbing a gun store in broad daylight may themselves be armed.”
The suspect was apprehended less than 150 feet from the store and shortly arrested thereafter, escaping with neither a gun nor his dignity. What is the lesson here? Perhaps that there is a high correlation between theft and stupidity, but also a high correlation between hubris and downfall. Who robs a gun store? Only the dimmest bulbs in society that’s for sure.